Wednesday, December 31, 2008

...and I thought I was self-sufficient

in china, it did not matter if i had a good set of friends to go out with on weekends or have a good dinner and chat with at the very least. i was happy and contented with my 2 - 42"TVs showing all my fave stuffs from channels back home. it felt as if i were still in Phils..just in a different house few blocks away from my family. i never needed any constant company, cause anyway during weekends i see my fellows at church.

homesickness... that was virtually non-existent in my vocabulary - not at least from being alone. i was bored from work, and that's where most of the issues rooted from.

now that i am far away from home in its truest sense, and freezing in Amman for that matter, I have never felt so alone. don't get me wrong... i am making things happen for myself this time around. i won't give in to my childish ways of dealing with my emotions. i guess it's just funny to find that now when i am ready to build friendships with locals and expats alike, even making a connection proves to be really tough.

it has come to a point when i dread the work hours coming to an end, because by then if i am not heading to the gym, i would have to think of how i'd buy time till it's time to lay meself to sleep. i am no longer self-sufficient, my gadgets won't speak to me. even my small tv won't speak in my language anymore.

somebody help me... i am going crazy... hehe.

Monday, December 15, 2008

...


looking at this sunset, i started to realize how alone i am... how far i am from you... i can only wish you are with me while watching something so breathtaking as this view.


dreaming of you locked in my arms - that's how i get by. i constantly dream of us waking up together again, walking at the beach holding hands and all carefree... i dream of all the beautiful memories we have made... and then i am resuscitated.


i can never be thankful enough for having met a person like you - humble yet so unique... subtle yet so intoxicating... you have completety blown me away... words are never enough to appreciate such a beautiful person...


there are reasons to say goodbye... reasons to let go... but if were strong enough, if i were courageous enough, believe me i shall stand by your side. because i know that as long as i am with you, i am unharmed. i can never know any fear.


as i lay my head tonight, i shall once again imagine you beside me. i shall animate the scene by caressing my pillow so carefully, as if it were your face. i shall turn off the lights with wishful thinking that tomorrow, when the sun shines, i will not wake up alone anymore... instead, i will have you beside me for eternity...


- graham in a letter to katherine

Friday, December 5, 2008

cooking adobo

uhm... boil the chicken in white vinegar, garlic, blackpeppercorns and bay leaves.... then simmer.... then add soy sauce... then simmer again.... and then add salt and sugar (i recommend thai sweet soy sauce, instead of sugar, to those who are into slightly sweet adobos). remove chicken and sautee for few minutes till you see a good brown. Reduce the sauce hanggang gusto mo..hehe... then pour sauce on the chicken.. yan na yan...




you can also add boiled eggs. as for me, potato wedges would complete this dish.