in china, it did not matter if i had a good set of friends to go out with on weekends or have a good dinner and chat with at the very least. i was happy and contented with my 2 - 42"TVs showing all my fave stuffs from channels back home. it felt as if i were still in Phils..just in a different house few blocks away from my family. i never needed any constant company, cause anyway during weekends i see my fellows at church.
homesickness... that was virtually non-existent in my vocabulary - not at least from being alone. i was bored from work, and that's where most of the issues rooted from.
now that i am far away from home in its truest sense, and freezing in Amman for that matter, I have never felt so alone. don't get me wrong... i am making things happen for myself this time around. i won't give in to my childish ways of dealing with my emotions. i guess it's just funny to find that now when i am ready to build friendships with locals and expats alike, even making a connection proves to be really tough.
it has come to a point when i dread the work hours coming to an end, because by then if i am not heading to the gym, i would have to think of how i'd buy time till it's time to lay meself to sleep. i am no longer self-sufficient, my gadgets won't speak to me. even my small tv won't speak in my language anymore.
somebody help me... i am going crazy... hehe.
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